April 11th, 2005
I wanted to go running, but the air was 43 degrees outside, so I set up my PS2 and my customized dance pad. I needed cool air, so I cracked open the winodow. As I sit typing now, the plush, silver curtains rustle gently. The tinkling of a wind chime outside sets off the atmosphere. When I started dancing, I started feeling so much better. DDR gets your heart racing quickly. Where I used to mountain bike all summer long, in the last few years, I've been running and playing DDR instead. DDR has become an integral part of my life... one of the few things that seems to define me. When I started dancing, I was surprised at the way I felt. The daily tension and anxiety and fear dissolved into nothingness. There are few things as dynamic for me as when my entire body is working for the sole purpose of connecting with the music. Having a few years of experience with the game, I feel at one with the music when I do it, like I'm a part of a grand musical scheme.
I don't feel afraid of anything right now. I stopped worrying about what other people might think. So it looks like I'm on my way to rebuilding the structure of my life, here. The good things, I mean. Like when I was back in the Tri-Cities, I was doing a lot of karaoke and weight lifting every other day. Is my human life so simple that my physical condition is the key to finding a dose of optimism? There is always more work to do, but I can tell that things are going to keep getting better and better, again.