Get Behind Me
Dear Kari,
I spent time living comfortably (until it wasn't) with others, although no one can compare to you under any label or absence of labels. So, the experience I have to offer comes from far worse scenarios, and I thought it could be helpful or reassuring to share.
I can finally try to protect you the right way, keeping in mind that my very nature can be offensive to you, but that's okay. Because you knew what I was like when you chose me.
I'm an amazing friend because I'm chivalrous, capable, and cunning. People with your disability tend to be taken advantage of, despite the perpetual polarization of this disability as being easy red flag victimizers.
Oh my gosh huff and puff 🤬 my misophonia aarhfhfhffjgjfjfnfnfnfnfjfjfmfkf people shut up arrrrrrrfgfffghhhhhhh
And my fight or flight response got me in trouble zero times! I'm just trying to chill in the shade, oof! So if you ever feel angry, we could set up a punching and kickboxing bag and become kung fu badasses. BWOOOONG
can you make your entrance? ;)
I need to play sounds of people chewing with their mouth open and it'll be like someone cast Berserk on me, I don't know. What's a good spell, cute stuff?
Sorry for the distraction, just 👀 how do people talk non-stop constantly? The fuck are they even communicating? Is this some Truman Show stuff because I mean for real!
Anyway, I looked into your online opps stuff months ago, and what did I find? People trying to victimize you. Those people need to have a label that everyone hates.
I always wondered if your elfgate case was as robust as you said, because I can do a much better legal write up if you need me to.
Are you with already with me on the idea of selling t-shirts after you win that? Do you see it?
"I ACCUSED SPACE GHOST OF BLACKFACE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY SHIRT"
Kari—wiggles eyebrows 👀 hmm hmm what do you think?
Let me know what has to happen to win this mmmkay
Oh my gosh frogging noisy kids, how am I gonna finish writing this?
The first person I helped with this disability was also being taken advantage of to the extent that I found laws that were being broken and got her a pro bono lawyer all the way across the country where she lived.
Dude that I protected her against went to jail later for an unrelated offense, I think sex trafficking! This was a guy running animal sanctuaries!
My brain is getting tired, Kari I just want you to know I had awesome friendships with these (two) people where we could go everywhere and do anything with zero tension. There were little things that needed help around the house, I would mow the lawn (after tightening the wheels correctly) and bake cinnamon rolls and leave some for them in the morning.
I vacuumed all the cat hair in the house, cleaned their car, blah blah blah after the Army, chores are very easy to do. In retrospect I can see how the disability somehow makes upkeep difficult, I don't know why it does.
Nobody else told me about their disability (if they even knew), so the friendships always ended when they raged. And I just left, because I didn't know what it was and certainly not how maintaining trust would have been possible.
And I want you to know that none of the things you do actually make me angry. You're gonna hate me because I'm super independent with my ego. You might hate me a lot because I'm suuuuuuuper freaking calm in person. If you ever call me you'll hear it in my voice.
I don't know if it's just me or the autism, but I just kinda watch things happen. But I'm also agile to respond if anyone needs help.
What frustrates me is when I feel like time is being wasted. I want to trust you and that's why I text you so much, it's not because I'm obsessed with you, it's because I'm afraid that if I let space grow between us that my alarms will go off and I'll leave. Because you haven't been talking to me.
I don't think of you as whatever you want to call the disability. You're so different to me. So much different than anyone else, and coincidentally I really do consider you my only peer.
If you want to help me help you, then make things clean for me. I feel like you've started doing that. Trust me to accept you and the struggles you face. You're not gonna lose my love. I already saw who you are and I know she's real. Let me protect her... please.
—Michael