Hewwo
Dear Kari,
Hey! It's good to write in here to practice feeling my feelings. That probably sounds unappealing, but look! I feel a mixture of scrambled and clarity.
Today, I've removed every obstacle that was obstructing me. That's vague but it means I can make more money now.
I could travel the country again if I wanted to destabilize and scare myself, lol.
You like movies and shows, did you ever watch Key West? It's so old, like mid '90s I think. But if you go back and watch it, it feels super progressive for the '90s.
I made popcorn to watch this show, every episode. I would go into the computer room and watch on the Commodore 64/SNES/PlayStation monitor and close the door and turn off the lights.
I was still repressed and untouched by anyone including myself. Jennifer Tilly was in Key West, I felt guilty for the way I felt looking at her and listening to her voice. It was like discovering feelings I'm not sure I had before.
Although for an example of where my emotional capability was, when the first Boyz II Men album released, I was extremely uncomfortable listening to the love songs and the sexual songs. I was into so many other love songs all before that, it was just that flavor or rawness of expression emerging in R&B.
When I had my first slow dance in middle school it was with the tallest girl in school Autumn Reinhardt, a dark haired goth girl. It was to a Boyz II Men song. I felt so awkward and uncomfortable that I remember it kind of vividly
and ANYWAY
Just watching Jennifer Tilly on Key West made me feel like I was watching porn or something my parents wouldn't want me to watch. And I looked forward to it all the time. You had to wait for episodes to air back in those days, ohhhhh back in my day! lol
🙃 Why are you upside down? So silly.
—Michael