Lone Pupper
Hey :)
I know you're busy and focused on your mission. I worry about you possibly worrying about me, so I wanted to tell you I'm not doing anything dramatic or suffering or flip flopping on you.
Except ever since you maybe sent me some clarity, I keep falling asleep because I'm so relieved.
First, it was the relief of discovering that I'm an avoidant. Then there's relief about you stacked on the first thing. 💤
I keep wanting to thank you for things I might not be allowed to thank you for. If I'm not supposed to know or notice, or of I'm being invasive by mentioning anything.
It's difficult to express to you, because there will also be many times I feel the vulnerability in myself, and worry about what could happen to me by being so vulnerable. Being an avoidant.
I don't want you to think I'm not grateful if I ever quiver avoidantly in fear. But I thought I noticed you do so many things that could not have been easy. If I'm right, and I believe that I am, I wish I could tell you how fiercely devoted to you I feel.
Like how dare you, I'm gonna pay you back so hard.
It's not even being vulnerable that makes me think of you all the time. Nobody ever loved me like this. You're one upping me. I'm shaking my head like "how are you real?" Really, how do you speak my language?
I'm not idealizing you. I know we're different in many ways. But that only makes everything more romantic.
How did you see me, how did you find me, how did you notice me. I was in my base, I was in the darkness.
I'll stop 😍 over you—I don't want you to feel pressured or worried about ever disappointing me.
I stayed for you. I mean, anyone who wouldn't stay for you would be stupid. I want your movie commentaries so badly. You're so cool. Look at you. :)
You make everything better. That's why everyone loves you. You don't have to be on a pedestal to do that. Anything that anyone is doing that is fun or interesting or challenging, your presence makes it better—IMO, okay? No pressure.
You even make loving cats better. You make it so beautiful and so moving. I can feel my heart moving.
Thinking about you makes thinking better. Wow.
I really feel like a powerful beast that's always burning, and you sang to me in my dreams, letting this lone pupper hear the love in your voice. And I came out from the shadows of the wilderness, and let you pet me with your beautiful hands. It feels so good to be touched by you, it makes the flames disappear. It feels the best. You make everything better.
Go be good to yourself please. :)